The above statement is actually fairly representative of how my life is going right now. There are two or three areas that are more disciplined than they have been in the past, yet, several other areas of my life seem to have fallen off the radar.
Work, eating and exercise (to some degree) have certainly gotten more ritualized in the past week than is the norm. Here's a quick synopsis of each of those three to set the context:
1. Work: Due to some valid administrative reasons, I no longer can work as an employee AND a contractor for MindWare. What that means for me regarding workload is that in the short term, work that I may have taken on as a contractor, I need to now fit into my work schedule. I first anticipated that meaning 60 hour work weeks, but last week turned out to be right around 50... manageable. The great news is, I have been given the go-ahead to hire a new employee who would start May 1st. That means only a month and a half at these hours... and maybe another week or two in training the new person. But, once they are in the swing of things, I could get back to normal with my work hours.
2. Eating: The BrainPower book threw a curve ball at me. I was fairly disciplined the first week with each meal. I would follow it to the T, and spend each evening preparing my meals. However, when the first week ran out, I still had many of the original ingredients left over, and didn't want to toss them out and start week two with a new grocery list. Therefore, I repeated some of the meals, and tried to stretch the ingredients out as long as I could. This was good economically, but it got me further and further off of the regimented eating schedule that I was on. The good news here is that I continued to eat in the 'spirit' of the book, but I strayed from my original purpose, which was to follow the book, all four weeks, to the letter. Either way, I was able to start up again this past Saturday, on track with the 'official' beginning of week 2 (whereas in reality, I'm in my third week of this). In addition to getting back on track, I prepared ALL my week's meals on Saturday (over 7 hours in the kitchen). Therefore, I was able to assess the leftover ingredients, and allocate them to meals for Laura and Addie.
3. Exercise: I have been 'mostly' good about this one. I've let a couple days go here and there, and a few of the exercises the book has me doing, I simply feel like I cannot do. Tonight for example, one of the exercises is essentially hopscotch for five minutes! (um, no). I could hop for about 7 seconds, and then I'm spent. I'm willing to work up to 15 seconds, but that's where I draw the line. All in all though, I've been fairly consistent, and have spent a good deal of time on the treadmill. If weight loss is any indication, I've lost about five to six pounds since the 'official' day one (and about ten pounds since a month ago).
So, those are the successes... or more accurately... the 'continually regimented activities'. I hesitate to call them successes, because in context of my every day, it's hard to call one element a success, when it has a negative affect on other elements. The name of this particular game is: 'balance.' I'm struggling a bit with finding a good balance. Where I'm regimented in eating, I've actually found myself enjoying life less, because I've practically lost my enjoyment for eating. That's probably rooted in a deeper pshycological issue having to do with control, but the reality is, I miss the spontaneous nature of saying... "hey,... I'm in the mood for... (fill in the blank)". (I've actually really been in the mood for a hamburger, but that's beside the point, I suppose).
So, as I continue on this "4-week" (...or 5, or 6 week...) 'study,' I am going to try and put more effort into balance. I will continue to try and follow the book, but not at the cost of time with my family, or even my sanity. I trust the regiment of the book, but maybe I don't trust my own capability to throw myself into this sort of regimen.
All this to say, at this stage in the game, I need to figure out what the key to sustaining something like this is. At this point, I just about 'hate' it (and I don't often use that word). I feel somewhat enslaved by it, rather than liberated by it. So, wish me luck as I continue on the course, but look deeply into how I could 'own' this sort of lifestyle and make it my own. That's really the trick, isn't it?
No comments:
Post a Comment